


Swim.

by swankinator64



Category: Poetry - Fandom
Genre: Mental Health Awareness, Poetry, Slam Poetry, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:09:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25717828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swankinator64/pseuds/swankinator64
Summary: something written for those thinking of leaving the world.
Kudos: 3





	Swim.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [those needing to hear this](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=those+needing+to+hear+this).



She was fourteen,  
When she forgot,  
How to swim.

She was fourteen years old when,  
Her legs grew stiff from,  
Being too tired to keep herself afloat.  
When her arms recognized,  
The water’s surface had,  
Nothing to hold onto for support.  
When her aching chest,  
Failed to retrieve the oxygen,  
To relieve its burning.

She was fourteen years old when,  
She allowed her head to,  
Dip beneath the surface,  
Submerging with her anchoring body.  
She allowed the,  
Ambience around her drown out,  
Transferring to pure pressure.  
She allowed her lungs to burn,  
Suffocating the words that,  
She wished so dearly to scream,  
Though, were smothered for the best.

She was fourteen years old when,  
The newfound darkness seemed okay,  
Wiping away years worth of pain,  
In just mere seconds.  
The beat of her heart eased down,  
As slowly and beautifully as,  
The sun lowering into,  
The horizon behind her.

Drip… drip… drip…

She was fourteen years old when,  
She woke up, washed ashore.  
Surely, water filled her lungs.  
Why was she able to smell the ocean?  
Why was she able to,  
Gasp the air back into her cold body?  
Did somebody manage to,  
Spot and rescue her after all?  
If that were the case,  
She certainly wished they hadn’t.

She was fourteen years old when,  
She felt a newfound fear,  
While looking at the ocean.  
She was peacefully drowning,  
Just a moment prior.  
Why was she suddenly afraid?  
That was when she,  
Finally took a look around her.

Lining and roaming the shore were…  
People.  
Dozens upon dozens,  
Living their own lives,  
As if she weren’t drowning at all.  
Her mind resorted back,  
Twisting to its cloudy and murky state,  
As it once had when she first,  
Allowed herself to drown.

She was no better than,  
The other people, was she?  
She wanted to drown,  
While those people weren’t even aware.  
That’s when she realized,  
Why her chest burned,  
More than it should have.

She did not scream.

Surely, nobody heard her,  
Struggle beneath all of the,  
Leisurely city noise.  
She did not use,  
The power of her voice,  
Since she did not want,  
Anybody to rescue her.

Seven years have passed,  
Since she forgot how to swim,  
Though, as expected,  
Nothing has changed.  
She still struggles to,  
Stay afloat, to allow,  
The sun to dry her off.  
Though, she could not help but,  
Notice somebody drowning close by.

They are,  
Forcing their head under,  
Only kicking their legs,  
To keep themselves,  
Engulfed beneath the surface.  
They look so much like she once did.  
Their legs kicked through,  
The thin line separating,  
Air and suffocation,  
Just to keep themselves anchored below.  
Their body is lightweight,  
Since they hold nothing else within,  
Except pain.

It’s their body that,  
Wants to stay afloat,  
Though, it’s their mind that,  
Wants to envelop and erase itself,  
From all of its senses.  
Even though, she could not swim,  
She found her legs kicking,  
Her arms digging into,  
The water’s dense mass,  
Her lungs releasing the,  
Remainder of its capacity,  
In the form of roaring protest.

Her will to rescue them was,  
As strong as the stinging,  
Fear and guilt coating her throat.  
Though, no matter how,  
Loud she screamed,  
Or how hard her arms,  
Worked to pull them above the surface,  
She could not reach them.  
Why was she unable to reach them?  
They might not receive a,  
Second chance to live,  
Like she did.

They seemed so close,  
Though, they were so far.  
Not even the person,  
Within arms reach of them,  
Were able to get through to them.  
The pain may,  
disappear for this person,  
Forcing their lungs to burn,  
Forcing their ears to clog, or  
Forcing their vision to go black.  
Though, there’s one thing,  
They don’t quite know.

If they ever were to,  
Rise afloat to the surface,  
Without a single breath left,  
The people they meant the most to,  
Would get in the water,  
Beginning to swim out,  
To find them.  
Since they are so far out,  
Everyone swimming in their pursuit,  
Would grow as,  
Tired as they were,  
Their lungs as heavy as their souls.  
There would be a school of,  
Floating, lifeless bodies,  
That either searched until,  
They could no longer breathe,  
Or, took the breath,  
Out of themselves.

Following those lost bodies,  
Their loved ones would,  
All swim out to find them,  
Then, the drowning process would,  
Continue indefinitely.  
Everybody would,  
Forget how to swim,  
As quickly as they once learned.

If you ever feel,  
Like drowning without a sound,  
Take a long look around you,  
In all the directions possible.  
Observe the mass amount of,  
People around you,  
Living and breathing.  
If you ever think,  
Nobody will notice,  
Nor care if you drowned,  
Double check that thought.

The world may be filled with,  
Those who turn a blind eye,  
Though, the world is also,  
Filled with heroes.  
The world you,  
Formulate in your head,  
Is but an illusion,  
Combating against reality,  
In an attempt to,  
Grapple you away into the darkness.

Do not allow yourself,  
To live in an imaginary world,  
Where the sun never rises,  
Where your skin is never nourished,  
Where everybody is asleep and,  
Cannot hear your calls,  
Where you feel,  
Inadequate and alone,  
Despite being surrounded by others.

Such a world does not exist.

You will know that,  
You are not alone when  
The people surrounding you,  
Are diving in the water,  
Racing to pull you out,  
When you are drowning.

Do not allow the,  
Last thing you hear to be,  
Your loved one’s voices,  
Drowned out, no matter how,  
Loud they might scream for you.  
As long as there are voices,  
Filled with life,  
With fury, with love,  
With fear, with sorrow,  
All shouting for you,  
Breaking through the,  
Pent-up pressure built up in your ears…

You are worth it.  
You deserve the place you were,  
Assigned in this world.  
You are adequate, loved, and,  
You fill others with life that,  
They would lack without you.

Do not let their,  
Voices drown out as they,  
Call out for you,  
To stay afloat.  
Use the remainder of your strength,  
To allow yourself to,  
Push your head above the surface.  
They know it’s hard,  
They know you cannot swim.  
That is all they will require.  
As long as they can see the,  
Subtle fighting spirit,  
Urging you to stay alive within,  
They will do the rest of the,  
Rescuing for you.

You may breathe as,  
They work together to,  
Pull you to the shore.  
They will take,  
Whatever precautions necessary,  
To keep you alive, since…

You were meant to be rescued.  
You were meant to live,  
Until the possible god above,  
Truly believes your time has come.  
In the meantime,  
You were meant to be in,  
The lives of others.  
You were meant to live and breathe.  
You were meant to survive and conquer.

You were meant to swim.

**Author's Note:**

> Before ending things on your own terms, think about what will come after. You are not alone in this fight. I was the girl who forgot to swim at fourteen. I had an epiphany, and I hope you will, too. 
> 
> Help is available to you. 
> 
> Helpful Resources: 
> 
> 1-800-273-8255 (National S*icide Prevention Hotline).
> 
> https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/  
> https://www.betterhelp.com/


End file.
